My recycled planner keeps drowning in my bag while 'to do' lists on scratch papers don't last long. (Making 'to do' lists are like downloading thoughts from your brain to paper. If you lose that paper, just pray the backup in your brain is still accessible). In a few weeks time, pass or fail, I will have more time to do other things after office hours. I would like to...

eat more vegetables and avoid processed food
blade more - set 3 rounds in the open beach as minimum
sell my car
commute full time
train for long bike rides
bike from our house to the office from time to time
combine bike and metro for commutes
be good at applying liquid eyeliner (they say it doesn't smudge much throughout the day)
explore the other emirates
go back to photography in a cheap and honest mode (sans gadgets and poses, just stories)
spend some quality time alone

I turned 31 last week and 6 years in Dubai a couple of days before that. Oh 31. So 31. Fun. Crazy.

I have this theory about turning 30. People turning 30 will have something major going for them at that year. I had and still have mine and many of my friends have their own versions. Mine is a financial thingie. I'm quite thankful it is not a relationship or love life angle. You can get by money problems with the help of excel charts, financial consultants, extra work, borrowed money, etc. With a broken heart, you can never use any form of units to measure, subtract, divide, multiply, transfer. It's just all in there. Looming, throbbing in your head. It gets psychosomatic. It's crazy. Thankfully it's not part of my 30's big thing. However, it is also a welcoming idea to have sort of love life - an opportunity to savour a wider range of interactive feelings - from time to time. Some passionate rock and roll stuff would be, well, rock and roll.

There's another age related superstition in Thailand. They say people born in the year of the horse will have something really wierd or mysterious happen to them when they turn 60. (I was born in the year of the horse.) Their famous example is Jim Thompson who mysteriously disappeared a few weeks after his 60th birthday. I did not make any further research about the man who made Thai silk famous... so I don't have any idea what really happened. For sure something will definitely happen when I turn 60. Something happens everyday anyway! :-)

+++++

Feelings for music: Last night, a friend noted to my other friend something about music preferences. I heard ... blah blah blah except Freddie Aguilar and 70's music. I felt wierded out of my wits. I thought, "REALLY? How could that happen? That's saaaad." I just found myself saying in a sad tone, "Ayaw mo ng Pinoy rak en rol?" - as if I was dumped. Haha!

I guess I have been too confined to certain genres for years already that it felt like they were the only ones to breathe. Over the years, music is that one area I am definite to have developed convictions for. Noted.

Wednesday night. Around 10:30 pm. Al Wasl - Al Diyafah intersection.
I was on my way home after dropping Jeff at the Burjuman Metro station. The right turn traffic to Al Wasl road was quite slow. There was a taxi in front of me. I felt a bit impatient when I saw other vehicles not driving along the inner lane because of a black garbage bag lying along that part of the road. Nevertheless, I stuck to the outer lane.

When I passed by the black garbage bag, I realized it was a man. He was not moving and there was no blood, but his pants seemed not to contain any legs inside as if he was cut in half. Maybe it was just my eyes. A few seconds after, I saw his motorcycle lying more than 10 meters from him. It was too much to see to continue driving. That's when I decided to park at the side of the road. I needed to relax.

When I parked, I realized there was still no police in sight. Out of curiosity, I called 181 and asked for the number of emergency. The guy told me it's 999. So I dialed 999 just to ask if they have already received a report of the accident. After a few seconds a different guy answered and asked where it was as if he was in a hurry. With a little shaky voice I told the location and what I saw. He asked if they need to bring an ambulance. I said I don't know, it was my first time to make this kind of phone call. He then asked if it is serious. I said the guy is not moving so it must be very serious. Then he said ok we will be there and ended the conversation.

By that time, people were approaching the guy on the road. I heard a local shouting and warding off on-lookers. It was getting tense. I was just sitting inside. (In this part of the world, only emergency people from 999 are allowed to help a person in an accident. People will just have to call emergency and wait for first aid. There's nothing much else you could do to help, otherwise, you could be blamed if something worse happens.)

Then after 2-3 minutes after the phone call, an ambulance came. Someone might have made a call earlier. Whew! Good thing the 999 people got there fast. Then I left. 10:55pm.

i attended a wedding last week. the couple thanked us in many sweet times. on a curious note: i have heard of this more than once in all the weddings of my dear friends i have been to. somehow, i feel that i cannot relate to it - which i find weird. maybe i need to get married to understand it somehow.

i should admit, it is fun to attend weddings. you get to have excursions on the side. you get to meet other members of your friends family. dress up a bit. eat nice food served in fine china. and most of all, to witness that ritual that means a lot to the couple. to see the way they look at each other. to hear their vows like it's one of the most profound and honest words they could ever say at that moment. to watch them take that leap of faith with strong belief in their relationship and have that courage to profess it to each other in front of many people. to me, it is inspiring.

hoooah. i think i'm still swept away. cheers to the newly weds!

Time will come when all of us will be so much older than we are now, i hope to see this blog still alive (along with my friend's blogs) and experience reading it as an old woman laughing over all these blah-blah-blah. I guess this blog is one of the very few things i am able to keep through the years. Sticking to a 500x500mm cupboard is the way to go when living in shared cramped spaces. Throwing, giving away, and letting go would always be the smartest move to free some space - in your mind, heart, and your room. And struggling is part of it.

It is refreshing to see some people writing again and still. With the boom of multiply, friendster, and facebook with all its addicting, time-consuming applications, it 's nice to see others keep on writing.