Wednesday night. Around 10:30 pm. Al Wasl - Al Diyafah intersection.
I was on my way home after dropping Jeff at the Burjuman Metro station. The right turn traffic to Al Wasl road was quite slow. There was a taxi in front of me. I felt a bit impatient when I saw other vehicles not driving along the inner lane because of a black garbage bag lying along that part of the road. Nevertheless, I stuck to the outer lane.

When I passed by the black garbage bag, I realized it was a man. He was not moving and there was no blood, but his pants seemed not to contain any legs inside as if he was cut in half. Maybe it was just my eyes. A few seconds after, I saw his motorcycle lying more than 10 meters from him. It was too much to see to continue driving. That's when I decided to park at the side of the road. I needed to relax.

When I parked, I realized there was still no police in sight. Out of curiosity, I called 181 and asked for the number of emergency. The guy told me it's 999. So I dialed 999 just to ask if they have already received a report of the accident. After a few seconds a different guy answered and asked where it was as if he was in a hurry. With a little shaky voice I told the location and what I saw. He asked if they need to bring an ambulance. I said I don't know, it was my first time to make this kind of phone call. He then asked if it is serious. I said the guy is not moving so it must be very serious. Then he said ok we will be there and ended the conversation.

By that time, people were approaching the guy on the road. I heard a local shouting and warding off on-lookers. It was getting tense. I was just sitting inside. (In this part of the world, only emergency people from 999 are allowed to help a person in an accident. People will just have to call emergency and wait for first aid. There's nothing much else you could do to help, otherwise, you could be blamed if something worse happens.)

Then after 2-3 minutes after the phone call, an ambulance came. Someone might have made a call earlier. Whew! Good thing the 999 people got there fast. Then I left. 10:55pm.

i attended a wedding last week. the couple thanked us in many sweet times. on a curious note: i have heard of this more than once in all the weddings of my dear friends i have been to. somehow, i feel that i cannot relate to it - which i find weird. maybe i need to get married to understand it somehow.

i should admit, it is fun to attend weddings. you get to have excursions on the side. you get to meet other members of your friends family. dress up a bit. eat nice food served in fine china. and most of all, to witness that ritual that means a lot to the couple. to see the way they look at each other. to hear their vows like it's one of the most profound and honest words they could ever say at that moment. to watch them take that leap of faith with strong belief in their relationship and have that courage to profess it to each other in front of many people. to me, it is inspiring.

hoooah. i think i'm still swept away. cheers to the newly weds!

Time will come when all of us will be so much older than we are now, i hope to see this blog still alive (along with my friend's blogs) and experience reading it as an old woman laughing over all these blah-blah-blah. I guess this blog is one of the very few things i am able to keep through the years. Sticking to a 500x500mm cupboard is the way to go when living in shared cramped spaces. Throwing, giving away, and letting go would always be the smartest move to free some space - in your mind, heart, and your room. And struggling is part of it.

It is refreshing to see some people writing again and still. With the boom of multiply, friendster, and facebook with all its addicting, time-consuming applications, it 's nice to see others keep on writing.

It's 2:20 am and I am still awake. It is summer - the time for hot days and hot nights. I sleep on a loft bed, the tallest one in our room, located in a corner least accessible by cool air thrown by the AC. No complains because there's an electric fan sitting on a shelf attached to one end of the bed.

We can call the shelf a 'bed side shelf' which also contains some bed-time reads waiting to be experienced. Some half-way through while others are virgin from my eyes. Mr. Taleb talked about Umberto Eco's (UE) 'anti-library' at the early chapters of his book. He said old UE used to keep a library of books he hasn't read yet and looks at it as some sort of investment - an investment of the unknown. For UE's proportions, I could imagine his anti-library to be as big as the main library of university bach home. It could be that big. Maybe for a simpler person like me my anti-library could be as big as the campus, haha! Those on the bed side shelf is a mini mini anti-library I am willing to commit to for the time being (aside from the fact that there is little remaining space on the shelf).

But still I cannot sleep!

This afternoon, my friends and I went to the Deira City Centre after office hours. I went shopping and it was all for free. Thanks to this credit card from First Gulf Bank.  I put a great amount of effort to clean it this first half of the year and was able to wipe it to perfect zero last month despite other major financial challenges. Then I called customer service to cancel the card and the Filipina lady advised me to claim the reward points first before cancelling. She said I accumulated around 500 AED worth of shopping vouchers over the years. Ayos! Card is not cancelled yet. I am thinking of not closing it... No.  I will close it. That would be the best reward.

One the things that kept me awake was the thought of the Metro being activated this September. I would like to ride that Metro for real - as in full time. Maybe combine it with a bike. Maybe let go of my car. Maybe I can do a combination of rollerblades-Metro-bike for a daily commute for longer parts of the year. Maybe bike-Metro-bike. Maybe live in a house near a Metro station. Maybe have my car available for car-share (if one can be set-up in Dubai).

Maybe do a comprehensive personal research on this. Research question: What does it take for an average person in Dubai to give up his/her car and take the Dubai public transportation system full time? Maybe I can present this to RTA. Maybe apply for a job in RTA or Dubai Municipality or Abu Dhabi government as researcher for making cycling possible in the some or all the emirates.

I will not be surprised if the cost of maintaining a private car would rise once the Metro is activated. My personal forecast is: parking fees, car registration, fines and petrol prices will go up. More paid parking spaces will be made and fines would even be stricter. If I am the government and my goal is to achieve a sustainable and cleaner transport system for my city, I would have to encourage everybody to commute by providing a highly efficient and clean transport system and discourage a big chunk of the population from getting a private car. And maybe require private car owners to pay for their carbon emissions.

Imagine a Metro system powered by fuel cells! That for me would be the next iconic Dubai should aspire for. One that makes far better sense than rotating, gyrating buildings and all those made-up fancy things advertised as 'green' / 'sustainable' in flashy property magazines.

I guess RTA is not in a position to do anything about private cars right now given the current state of limited bus routes. Maybe some day, their motto 'Safe and smooth transport for everyone' would be replaced by 'efficient and clean transport for life'.

Years ago when I had difficulty sleeping, I used text a dear old friend back home a short message indicating I cannot sleep and this psychologically puts me to sleep. He's in Dubai now so the whole psychological distance effect is no longer achieved. Now I find me blogging myself to sleep.

It's 3:35 am now. I just hope this works.

definite deadlines - focus

dissertation for printing - waiting

rush - no coffee

finished 'to do's - laziness

journals - excitement

drive home - sing along

problems? - research!

music - passion

annie lennox - rebirth

recession - warriors

everyday - sweetest smile

rats and roaches - kill mode

life on the edge - alive

... i keep feeling lately that it takes a bigger dose of craziness to take life head on.

++++

we watched a movie a couple of days ago. before going inside, we bought soda and 'naked' hotdogs near the entrance. i surely remember saying more than twice that we'd like to have 2 hotdogs, 2 sodas and a plate of nachos. came collection time, there was only one hotdog, the sodas and nachos. so we reminded the lady in the counter about the remaining hotdog in a relaxed manner.

lady replied: 'isa lang ang inorder mo.'(you ordered only one hotdog)

i said still very relaxed, 'hindi, 2 yung inorder ko diba? inulit ko pa nga e.' (no, i ordered 2 right? i even repeated my order)

lady: 'hinde, isa nga lang inorder mo e'. (no. you ordered only one.) (irritated mataray tone)

i took a deep breath, closed my eyes and looked away. hyden talked to them and just re-ordered the remaining hotdog. all of a sudden, i told my housemate hyden loudly and matter-of-factly: 'gusto ko siyang patayin.' (i want to kill her.) while looking at the lady. good thing she became busy with something else.

i was shocked at myself.

anger. not good.